If you would have told me that I would feel lost, confused, and unsure of myself after accomplishing one of my life long goals, I would have never believed it. It's funny how something you want so bad, doesn't live up to the hype after you get it. I thought after I received my Doctorate Degree that I would finally feel fulfilled and have it made, but boy was I wrong.
In fact , I didn't feel smart at all. It's funny how an event that should have been so life changing brought out the insecurities of my childhood. When I was younger, I constantly battled with the notion of being good enough. How could a little girl from North Philadelphia be anything? I did not come from a family where the members had college degrees, my mom didn't have a high school diploma, and my father was a drug addict. So, how am I sitting here now as Dr. Wilson. I wasn't quite sure. I knew I put in the work. I stayed up countless nights writing my dissertation, and completing my course assignments. I wrote, revised, and resubmitted the dissertation numerous times...So, I know I have what it takes.
I knew I deserved the title, but I didn't like people calling me Doctor. The truth is, that I didn't see myself as a Doctor and didn't feel I was worthy of the title, I rightfully earned. I didn't talk like a doctor, I didn't act like a doctor, so the shoes felt uncomfortable. Not only was I uncomfortable with being a Doctor, but I still did not have a clue what I wanted to be.
Do not get me wrong, I enjoy being an Educator, but there was a bigger calling on my life. I just didn't know what it was and where to start. I began to listen to inspirational speakers and ministers each day to get direction. Then a thought kept pulling at me. You like to inspire people and bring healing to them through sharing your life stories.
By nature, I am an encourager and many people have told me I should be a life coach. My reply has always been, but I need to get my life together first. How could I ever bring value to anyone else, if I didn't have these certain things myself. So, I decided to take a step of faith and got rid of all those negative thoughts from my childhood. I decided to believe that I am more than enough. I am Dr. Wilson because I worked hard to be her. Being Dr. Wilson is the gateway to my destiny and part of my life journey to fulfill my purpose. My life goal is to encourage anyone that I come across to become the best person they can be and to find their purpose. Also, as I reveal myself to you, I hope it's healing for your soul, as it has been healing for mine.
Remember, do not let your past get in the way of your future. Your past is just a gateway to your purpose and destiny. If God gave you a dream, then he gave you all the tools to accomplish it. It doesn't matter where you are from, it just matters where you are going.
Think Positive, Dream Big, Walk in Your Purpose
InspireU
#Developingyourmindbodyandsoul
You are awesome sis! AND YES YOU DESERVE THAT DAMN TITLE!
ReplyDeleteDr. Wilson!
I do understand where you are coming from though...
Thats why i started going after my dream so late in life... and truth be told i am still procrastinating and self sabotaging myself by thinking, "how can i possibly do this?" "Am i good enough that somebody would even want to eat my food?" Periodically those thoughts still come and thats when i find myself starting to slack off!
This year has started out okay but i know if i remain focused it will continue to grow and i will continue to grow and be a better me!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Blaze
Sis,that is why we have to encourage one another and let people know that we all have these types of thoughts and show how we worked through them. That we are more than enough and that our gifts will make room for us. So, start your blog and just learn by doing and keep doing what you love. I am so proud of you.
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DeleteChicka you know you got what it takes to be great, remember your past will always be apart of you it is the part of you that make you strong, determined and a jewel. You deserve everything that God has given you and everything He has coming to you so embrace it, cherish it and learn from it. I love you Chicka!
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