Fork in the Road: “When You Know You Will Be LAST!” BEATING THE ENEMY WITHIN

In life there are crossroads and these paths will determine your destiny. What do you do when you come to the fork in the road? Do you take the path least traveled, go the way that most people go, or turn back around? This was the decision I had to make when I stood on the starting line last Saturday morning to run my first official race of the 2017 Cross Country season.

Sweat was running down my back and the race didn't even begin yet. Fear started to grip me and I could not understand why I was so scared. I’ve run this course many times by myself, with the kids and with my track team. I was reminded by my bestie, Kisha my running partner, that I was on our home field. I should have felt comfortable but I wasn’t. I wanted to kick of my running sneaks and sit in the car.

Then I started thinking about how I use to run this course. If this was 10 years ago, I would have completed the race in a little over 25 minutes. Now, I am almost 10 minutes slower and would be happy just to make it up the 3 hills without walking. My mind started coming up with excuses. “It’s hot out today, you would do better if it was cooler”, “You can sit this one out, there are 5 meets to go” and "You know how your race anxiety is setup”, but I had to find a way to shut all these negative thoughts up.

So, I put on my ear phones, turned on my music, and started talking to myself. I asked myself, “Why are you so scared? You have done this many, many times before and you just ran the course last Thursday”. Then it hit me, I was at the fork in the road. I knew the times of everyone out there expect  one woman. If you know anything about running cross country, the Open Women run with the high school students and occasionally there are some we beat, but when I sized up the field that day, I realized that today was not that day. All the Open Women started having a conversation because check in was a little long. Then the only woman, who time I did not know, said she use to run this course in high school in 19 minutes. Well, I’ve never run any 5k course that fast and after that the anxiety really kicked in on full blast. She said she was not in running shape but does aerobics all the time, and you could tell. She looked powerful.

Then I had to face the source of my fear, “WHAT DO YOU DO, WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU WILL BE LAST?” I know most of you are saying, what does this have to do with real life, I am not a runner, but life will have situations that even giving your best,  you still will come up short. I had to make a choice was I going to go out fighting or was I going to lie down. Well, I am an Overcomer. So, I got on that line and I realized that the race is not with the person beside you, the race is with the person within. I was determined to run my race. I started off slow and steady. I had to fight the anxiety off the whole entire time but I did not walk up the hills and I finished the 5k run like I was running the 100-meter dash. No, I was not first, I was last. I beat the negative thoughts demon. I gave it my all. I even dropped my time by 1 minute and 4 seconds. I took the road least traveled. Last place felt like first place because I BEAT THE ENEMY WITHIN.

YOU STOPPED CARING

I thought I wanted to be a blogger. I wanted to motivate people and help them change their mindset so they could change their life.

But, I do not really write my Blog anymore. Did I stop caring about it? Did I stop caring about inspiring woman to be the best them they can possibly be?

Maybe I did. Has this ever happen to you? You start out on a journey and at first you are on fire then you realize that it's hard. Not a little hard, but extremely difficult and takes more dedication than you thought.

So, you stop doing what you set out to do. You come up with excuses that help you get over the fact that you “GAVE UP”, “YOU QUIT”.

Well this morning, I realized that I gave up, I gracefully bowed out. While taking my son to school, we listen to motivational speakers to set a positive tone to our day. A YouTube video titled “I’m Not Here To Be Average” was our choice and it had me thinking.. Thinking hard and I knew in that moment I had to write about it. I had to ask myself, “DID I STOP CARING?”

The gentleman went on to say, “You have to Care more than Normal and more than Necessary for your Results. Those who let themselves off the hook gave themselves permission not to Care anymore”.

This struck a cord in me because it was true. I gave myself permission not to care. Well, today I revoke that permission.

It does not matter how hard it is; It does not matter how much dedication it takes; I will accomplish my goals.

I will get up each morning complete the hardest task of my day. I will write for my blog.

If there is something you want to accomplish and it is difficult. Do not put it off to the end of the day. Do what is difficult FIRST. Completing your hardest task first thing in the morning will make you feel successful and create a positive start to your day. 

You might have to get up a little earlier, but the commitment to yourself will payoff in the end.

Even though, your goal might be a challenging ONE and even seem impossible don't give up and

Remember

You have to CARE more than NORMAL and more than NECESSARY about your RESULTS.

YOU WILL BE VICTORIOUS.

#DrSheenaSpeaks

#InspireU